She went from zero to smokin in five shots
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
