Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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