Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
