did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
