my mouth tastes like poor choices
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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