Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
