the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize