You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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