He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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