And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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