she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize