I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
