Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
When are your genitals available?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
