if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just had sex on a roof
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
