I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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