just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
