There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
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Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
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We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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