It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
