why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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