Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize