if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
