I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize