YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
