I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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