No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Randomize
