Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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