this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize