I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The uberlube is also flammable
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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