Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
