me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
