She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
