What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
