some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
