If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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