When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
