I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
