Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
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