Cold hands, warm shart.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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