Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
