what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
