He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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