it hurts more in the daytime
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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