their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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