Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
