you guys were way drunker than both of me
kristin has been a bad kristin
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
