please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
