Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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