new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
