dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Your penis caused this!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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