Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
