If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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