I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
