I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
