Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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