The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
