i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
