i think my mom watched the whole time
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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