Well douche your snatch and let's go!
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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