Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
