If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
