Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
